The Most Disgusting Family in the World

SB (Small Boy) had a lively and exhilarating adventure with the stomach flu last Sunday.  He was a little lethargic, whinier than his usual self, and as I was backing in to the garage, he introduced me to the exciting world of projectile vomiting in the car.

I wish I could say that my motherly instincts kicked in right away and that I went into full nurturing mode – I really do.  But my first thought as he was spewing like a geyser into the backseat was, “oh my GOD, my favorite shoes are back there!!”  Bad, bad, mama.  But on the bright side, it did make me move even faster to get him out of there.

And then he broke my shoe obsessed heart.  I got him into the backyard, literally soaked all the way down to his shoes, and he started screaming and looked so horribly sad that I immediately forgot about my shoes and went into mama mode.  I cleaned Mr. Barfy up, calmed him down, and made him a nice little nest on our couch, which coincidentally is barf colored, as much as BB (Big Boy – my husband) would disagree.  And he passed out for four hours.  I guess a lively bout of throwing up and screaming at the top of your lungs will do that.

And here’s where the fun really began.  The clean up.  FEMA could have been called out to this mess, that’s how bad it was.  Even the dog avoided me, and you all know what dogs like to get into…

All I can say is thank GOD for leather seats.  I can also proudly say that I took the car seat apart, washed and dried the whole thing, and then had BB put it back together because I couldn’t remember what the hell I did to take it apart in the first place.  I never did get my Engineering degree from MIT so I was out of luck with this one.

Since SB is a kind and generous little guy, he was thoughtful enough to share his stomach flu with both of us.  Let’s just say I lost four pounds in two days, which normally would be cause for wild celebration – but this way?  Never.  Luckily SB was well enough to go to day care so BB and I could stay home and die in peace for two days, thus earning us the title of the Most Disgusting Family in the World.  Aside from thanking God for leather seats, I was also extremely grateful for three bathrooms, so we could at least keep the romance alive and be revolting in private.

But on the bright side, my shoes are fine.

Now it’s time to share your horror stories – where was the grossest place your kids got sick? Did you catch it too?  Remember, misery LOVES company!  


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