At the rate we’re going, SB (small boy) will be around 37 by the time he’s potty trained. He’s almost three now and the pressure is enormous – like if he’s not wearing underwear soon I’m going to be fired. I can hear it now, “I’m sorry mama, but it’s just not working out. I’m going to have to let you go”.
To add to my angst, all the kids on our street are either in the process or have been potty trained already, and it’s really starting to get on my nerves. No one likes a show off, especially a show off in big kid underwear.
Of course we’re the slackers – I was just starting to feel proud that he can take his pants off without falling down most of the time (just like me), but now the potty training cloud of shame is looming over our heads.
When we get back from visiting family next week, we’re going cold turkey. Sure, I’m all full of spunk and bravado now, but we’ll see who breaks first. We’re going to try the “big boy underwear all the time” approach, rather than the “naked all the time” approach, because frankly – who the hell wants to clean that up? Since I haven’t gotten around to putting in the cement floor with the drain/hose yet, I’d rather not have to deal with the naked thing. Not going there.
There’s so much advice out there – the good, the bad, and the truly stupid. Have him drink a lot of liquids, eat salty foods (I don’t get that one at all), pop him on to the potty every hour, use reverse psychology, pull ups, schlep around little mini potty’s, AARRRGHHH!
Clearly having him stand in the cat box until he figures this out would be frowned upon, right? And I’m not sure the authorities would like me putting him out in the yard with the dog…We’ve tried leading by example, but it’s a little unsettling to have the door fly open with SB offering me a sticker. Although he is very proud of me for using the potty, so at least I’m doing something right. Maybe he’ll only put me on probation instead of firing me?
So my plan for next week is to psych him up, screw the charts and stickers and just go for it. I have promised him a HUGE toy if he figures this thing out, but again – at the rate we’re going, I’m not sure what kind of toy to buy a newly potty trained 37 year old.
Any advice? Bring it on, we can use it – the good, the bad and the truly stupid…help me keep my job please!